Operation Purity has been aborted
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Still dying that you shit outside
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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