i don't like sucking hair
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
they're like a gay fantastic four
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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