He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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