Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
