That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
