I cockslap morals
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
