fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
