When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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