You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
