And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
pray to the hookup gods
Randomize
