if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
