U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Holy sore nipples Batman
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
