Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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