I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize