I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It's just like the Real World with babies
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
