I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
