i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Help. Why am I so naked?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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