cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
This house was built for laser tag.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
