I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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