just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
we're so committed to being not committed
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
