I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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