Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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