so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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