I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Found your dick twin last night
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
