yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
