we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
