Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
