I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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