one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
