so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize