There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
