i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
