I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
