and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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