You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
