East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
