Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize