I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
