every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
