so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
