We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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