I smell stomach acid.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize