btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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