if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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