Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
