your thong is hanging out like whoa
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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