doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
