Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
