wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
