She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
