It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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