I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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