Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
