Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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