the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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