I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
