dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
