Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The uberlube is also flammable
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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