So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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